Hey everyone. Last night I waited in line for 40 minutes to see The Twilight Saga: New Moon, and here’s my review of it.

Vile trash. What sucks is that New Moon, the follow-up to Catherine Hardwicke’s tremendously disappointing Twilight, is sure to shatter all the box office records that The Dark Knight so rightly deserves.

In the stupidly titled The Twilight Saga: New Moon, Edward leaves Bella for some reason that I really don’t care to know, and werewolf Jacob (who for some reason is shirtless and wearing jean shorts throughout the entire movie) is there to comfort her.

Chris Weitz’s career has plummeted from directing American Pie to this tween garbage.The Twilight Saga: New Moon is nothing more than an excuse for 11-year-old girls (and their mothers, in my theater-going experience) to compete in screaming matches whenever Jacob or Edward (who’s played by Robert Pattinson, the only good actor in this soft core porn-like film) comes on the screen.

From the an asinine shirtless werewolf Native American clan to Stephanie Meyer’s completely screwed up perception of vampires, “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” is more of the exact same. And expect a lot more of it in the coming years.

My rating: TWO OUT OF FIVE STARS.

Click here for my more in-depth video review.